But he wouldn’t be heartbroken because he’s crazy in love with the woman that has betrayed him. He wouldn’t be depressed and crying like I am. Maybe life would be easier as an uncaring, selfish asshole. Maybe Mercer should be my new role model.To distract myself from my self-pitying, I start to watch them again and I try to do it with some kind of clinical detachment. Laura’s behavior for example is interesting, it seems somehow wrong. She seems surprisingly disinterested in the whole thing. Usually she’s an attentive and enthusiastic lover, but right now she just seems to wait until it’s over. This apparently doesn’t go unnoticed by her lover. He contorts his face even more and increases his efforts by pounding her even harder. It looks like he is hard working, this doesn’t look like fun, even for him. Sweat is forming on his forehead and threatens to fall onto Laura’s back. The thought makes me sick again for some reason. It’s bad enough that he’s fucking her, but his disgusting. So it was Valentines Day 2011 and I was getting everything ready for our date. I had the reservations at the best Italian restaurant in our town. (her favorite) I also booked the best room in the country club that I'm a member of so I could dance with her all night. I even booked a live band to play a mix of old and new music. Afterwards I had the Newlywed Suite of the local Clarion Hotel reserved for her very special first time being made love to. In the room I had a bottle of champaign on ice. There was also a heart shaped hot tub that I had ready with a bottle of bubble bath next to it. I didn't want her drunk but I did want her to drink enough to relax her.I knew she might be resistant to my plans for the end of the night so the wine at dinner and the champaign at the hotel hopefully would put her in the mood. At the very least it would lower her inhibitions to a point that I would be able to talk her into anything. The other reason I had been planning all this was that every time.
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