Maybe you can find something original to call me and impress me. But before you start there is something I would like you to know.”“And that is?”“Why I did it” she said.I started to say that she did it because she was a… but then I stopped myself and indicated for her to carry on.“We have been married a long time haven’t we.” She asked, I nodded.“Can you tell me on average, how many times a week we have sex?” she asked. I thought back.“Well, It’s fallen off as we got older” I started but she interrupted.“Has it?” she said “Yes, initially we had sex every day sometimes twice or more in a day. But once we got over that youthful exuberance, we averaged at least every other day sometimes more. The sex was and still is wonderful and you are still the best lover I have ever had. But then you went on your business trips. Sometimes for up to a month at a time. I was used to getting laid almost daily and then you were expecting me to go without for weeks. I tried some DIY, even got myself. They discussed everything, of course, but they each had their own place as decision-maker. It seemed to work. And meant I only had Mum to worry about in my ambition to reach the stratospheric heights of layabout.Ambition is good, I'd always been told, but it appeared that mine didn't receive universal acclaim. I was supposed to get a job.A job!Who were they kidding? Spend all day in a shop interacting with old people, getting sore feet and swollen ankles? What about slobbing in my room instead and listening to music? Isn't that what teenagers were supposed to do? Wasn't it some kind of universal law of, well, the universe?I could maybe get work at the local sports center teaching swimming to kids. I was good at swimming. I was on my school team, for goodness sake. And gymnastics. And it might be nice to be at the pool all day. Prancing about in just a swimsuit. Being looked at by the hunky life guard pool attendants. Ogled by all the old men. Stinking of chlorine. Skin wrinkled like.
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