. no matter how much bigger he is than me." He's a bully, Doug. A bully and a drunk. He'd had more than one drink before he came over here. I could smell it on him. I wonder if that's why his alimony payments are getting so erratic." Do you think he needs a warning letter from your lawyer?" I asked."No ... at least, not yet. But if it doesn't get any better, that's probably the route I'll go."We sat in silence for a few minutes while Christie gathered herself. I could see that she was a bit shaken by the encounter with her ex-husband although I didn't get any sense that he'd laid his hands on her. Verbal abuse was bad enough. I would not stand for physical abuse."He said something odd when we were talking about Diane and you. I get the impression he tried to seduce Diane, maybe more than once, and got a flat rejection. He said he could have 'swatted you away like a fly if he'd really tried to get Diane.' She was 'easy to control.' I don't know what he was thinking, but it sounded evil. Never once in all these years have I doubted the decision not to let anyone know about my infatuation. While you were living the almost perfect life with the most astonishing woman I ever met, nothing good would have come from knowing. None of your ‘what ifs’ ever crossed my mind because I knew better. Only recently have ‘what ifs’ fluttered around, but they are for future reference, not the past.’ ‘When your letter arrived. My heart skipped a beat. Sometimes I worry that someone will see in my eyes what I feel in my heart.’ It was stated much more eloquently than I could ever write and contained words that I could only hope to receive. I exhaled what seemed like a gale and took a deep breath to replace the one I had been holding for over a week. Come on, guy, breathe in, breathe out. Dear God, you’ll give yourself a heart attack. Calm down to a nervous wreck, at least. You have to survive until she returns this coming spring. Her words seemed to give me an open license to expand my.
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