Everybody knows he’s just an ass who, from what I hear, just barely managed to pass his CIP test,” I confided.“Oh, he’s right. I told mom it was useless, but she spent hours searching for the perfect outfit, so I promised her I’d give it a try. I knew he wouldn’t accept me, but he didn’t have to be so cruel about it!” she practically sobbed.“Would you be willing to audition for me instead?” I asked tentatively.“I know that you’re not really interested in having me as a companion either! All you want is a free blowjob,” Janet accused.“Well, you’re wrong on both counts. First of all, I have been intrigued with you ever since I took a sneak peek at your CIP scores and discovered that we have many similar interests,” I told her.“That’s not possible. CIP scores are private unless somebody decides to share them,” she argued.“I’ve been granted certain concessions by the Consensus,” I said, handing over my CIP card so she could scan it into her mobile device, and see for herself that I was. But hell, if you spent your life worrying about every rare thing that might happen to you, you may as well just drop dead right now. So fuck it! Like The Ramones sang, ‘I wanna be sedated.’ It’s not fear of crashing or any terrorism bullshit. I just can’t stand being crammed like a damn sardine with no place to go for a walk. Or for that matter, a smoke. So just as the plane took off I fell asl**p. . . . The entire rest room was flooded, and I had to go bad. To make matters worse for some reason I was barefoot. Then I kept seeing shit flowing everywhere. When I finally found a clean stall the toilet itself was overflowing with turds everywhere! I awoke with a k** sitting next to me poking me with a tootsie role. (‘Keep that up k** and I’ll hurl on ya!’) Then everything faded to black again . . . The metal table was cold against my skin. My hands and feet were tied up and I was wearing a blindfold. All around me I heard voices and the sound of people unfurling something they held in.
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