" I said."I did," she repeated. "I used my pink tornado twister and a certain blue probe you saw in the catalog." Go to sleep," I said. "I'm too tired to talk any more and my bed is so wet I'll have to make it or sleep on the floor. I think I'll sleep on the floor. It smells like pussy in this room." I love you so much, Danni," she said."No fair," I said. "I can't stay mad at you when you say that." I know, honey," she said. "I love you so much." So now I'm supposed to say I love you too, I suppose." You'd better," "Well, I don't" Then I'll have to find another woman to love," she said. "You do and I'll cut your tits up and shove them up your ass," I said."Well?" Oh very well. I am so damned deep in love with you that I can hardly stand it and if you don't get your ass over here early, I'll have to attack you, kiss the breath out of you and have my way with you." I may be late," she said.I hugged my phone and softened my tone. "I love you so much, please hurry, Jenni. I miss you so."I. “We’re not expecting any deliveries today, are we?”Mother and daughter shook their heads.“I have this feeling...” I said.I pulled on my robe, conscious that I reeked of sex, and that there were an awful lot of naked women in the house that I really couldn’t hide.I went to the door, and peeped through the hole. I sighed. It was an ex, and we hadn’t parted on the best of terms.I opened the door, but only partway. “Hi, Janice! I wasn’t expecting to see you! I sent you a letter a couple of years ago. Did you get it?”“Hello, Dave. Yes. I got it.”Janice was looking like she did when we had started dating, twenty-five years before. She was not looking happy to see me. “What can I do for you?” I asked, dreading the answer.“Can I come in? I need to talk with you.”“Well, it isn’t really a good time...” I started.“Look. This is important. I need to talk to you now.”“Um, there’s a lot going on here, right now...” I tried again.“Dave, this is important. I don’t care if you’ve got a woman in.
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