' So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter, ' she said. 'Just get out.'Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent.' 'Thank God, ' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonnay.A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her. ”“Like a cheerleader or an Asian girl?” I joked, lightening the mood witha slight smile.I expected Lacey to laugh, but she just shrugged.“Sure,” she said. “If that’s what you would like to still try.”“Okay, wait a sec here,” I blurted out, sitting up straight in bed. “Are you offering me...what I think you are?”“Well...,” she said, sitting up as well. “I think it might actually bea good idea for us to use our last single days to...,”“Whoa!” I said, cutting her off with a raised hand. “You want to fucksome other guy? A week before our wedding?”“Just listen and let me explain,” she returned, squirming into akneeling position. “We have eight days left of being single. I for one,haven’t really been with that many guys. I just kind of want...to seewhat else is out there?”“What else is out there?” I exclaimed with exasperation. “You’re twentyeight years old! You’ve had plenty of chances to see what else is outthere.”“Yeah, but...” she pleaded, growing more desperate by the second. .
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