SHE CRIED ALL THE WAY TO HER DORMROOM.” Of course, the room fell into a somber silence and I felt like a major asshole. I sent flowers to her and left a few messages on her recorder, but never heard from her again. To my boys I was a legend, and they even invented an inside joke term, CORNPETER, which was thrown around by the fellas for a year or so. But I always felt bad about the bragging. I learned a lesson on humility. In ending, I sometimes wonder what became of her. Did she become a sex addict? A nympho? Maybe even turned lesbian? But the real question that haunts me is....who the fuck found that shit infested colonel of corn I flicked off my Dick and where was it? Did someone pick it up off the carpet and think, that’s odd, I don’t remember eating corn in here. Or did it wind up in stuck on her Guess Jean jacket and simply get brushed off without a second thought? Only if that corn could talk. What a tale it would tell.????THE FLICKThe FlickOne night, when I was a younger man. "Rick was just about to point out that he was at her house without supervision when Merriweather Gwynn stormed out onto the patio, "What the hell are your two doing? Elizabeth you know better than to have anyone over to the house when I'm not home. Young man, you'll have to leave. RIGHT now!"Rick quickly rose from his chair and said goodbye to Elizabeth and exited the house via the backyard gate."Jesus "M" you don't have to be so mean to my friends. Rick and I were just sipping sodas and talking." Elizabeth please. I know you don't want to call me mother and that's fine, but at least use my given first name, not my initial." OK, that's fine"..."m-o-t-h-e-r." Elizabeth got up and stormed into the house.Later that evening, after dinner, Merriweather sat down with Sam Gwynn, her 49-year-old husband of eleven months. "Here honey, here is a glass of cold glass of Chablis." Thanks Merri, that's just what the doctor ordered. Honey you look a little troubled, what's wrong?" Sam, it's just....
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