She would be gaining more and more followers, as she collected people's hearts with her moving performances. No longer was she only Billy's to admire from afar. The brook they used to play in as children had swept her far away to the ocean, now.Even with his untrained ear, Billy would have felt the musicality in what she did. It consumed anyone who was really listening and watching.It was part of her. He could no more imagine her not playing music than he could imagine ... himself without her ... She was a part of him.But Billy was not in the audience. Instead, he listened from somewhere immeasurably distant, yet also within her. With no time or air there, notes and sounds had no meaning in that place. But the emotions with which Sandra sang ... They vibrated and shook his entire existence.He supported her, and through her memories he changed her. He imparted her with strength, grace and radiance. He at last succeeded in having her let go of him, even though he would never let go of. I wanted tostruggle to take another big fat bowling pin up my ass. I wanted to be alittle slut. My heart was racing, and I started to sweat. I don't thinkit was the exercise that was making me sweat. Rather, it was the emotioninside me. I'm nervous. I'm in heat. I'm too scared to go into mysister's room, but to horny not to. I thought, 'Fuck it! No one knows. The UPS guy didn't know anything.And, even if he did, who cares, he doesn't know me. I doubt my sistersaw anything. If she had, I'd know about it. She'd make such a fuss.She'd simply torture me with my secret. Since she hasn't said anything,she can't possibly know either.'I crept into my sister's room, and rooted around. As usual, I didn'tneed to go very far. Clothes are everywhere. On the floor, on theirbeds, draped over the lamp on the bureau, and on every surface in theroom. But, the really good stuff is often hidden. The lingerie is oftenin the bottom of their underwear drawers, or in the case of Jen, buriedin the back of.
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