To me,it meant that I would have to not only look like a girl, I would alsohave to act like a girl. Mom sat across from me, put her hand over mine,and waited, then..."Honey, if you want to go change right now, and never become Carolynagain, that's fine with me, and you know that, but I have the suspicionthat you like the way you look, more than you're admitting, plus, I'llbet that you have discovered something else about yourself, and thatscares you." In her calm gentle voice, mom had spoken something that noreal boy wanted to hear. "That's what's bothering you, isn't it? Youfound out that you like being a girl, don't you?"I could not bring myself to say the words, yet, when my head nodded yes,I began to cry again. Mom sat there with me for a while, then together,she and I went to her bedroom so we could repair the damage to my makeup.While I was putting on my foundation, mom said, in sort of an offhandway, that if I had my hair styled it would make it easier for me to looklike a. "Whack him off, then, Scott! Toss yer lover boy's knob off for me!"I looked at Ricky to check that he was happy for me to masturbate him in front of Jason and his eager grin told me all that I needed to know.It surprised me to see him so keen on having me work my hand on his organ with another man watching, as he'd once told me – early on in our relationship – that he considered masturbation to be a solitary act. Back then, he wasn't even comfortable about me seeing him stimulating himself sexually and was keen to accord it the same level of unspoken privacy as sitting on the toilet. Clearly, after the many years we had enjoyed masturbating together both in foreplay and occasionally as a form of hasty relief, he had grown happy to pleasure himself in front of me, and was now even willing to have me use my hand on his erection with Jason present as an eager onlooker.I wrapped my hand around his organ, poking upwards from his trousers, and that made Jason become still more.
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