"I want to try that sitting up face to face position later, but that worked pretty well for me. Jon got all hot and puffy, so I think it was okay for him too." Later? Jon, if it's not a rude question - well it is, but I'm going to ask it anyway - how many times can you come in a day?" I don't really know, Vee - I seem to be lucky in recovering so quickly, but I've never really tested it."I was still a bit embarrassed talking about sex, but Vee had most certainly earned the right to an answer."Well how many since last night, then?" Umm, well Sian and I did it once when we came to bed, and again a little bit later, and we woke up for a pee in the middle of the night and did it again, that's three, and then with you on top when I came too quickly, and then again with you while Sian was in the bath, and this last one while you were out."Vee had been counting on her fingers while I spoke."Crikey, that's six times in nineteen hours! And you made me come twice. Could you go again now?"Sian. I think its goal is to paralyze, to enforce inaction, like a preservation instinct and I’m pretty sure it’s deeply held by more than just me. After all, if we don’t run headfirst into danger, we’re less likely to be injured.Or so the thinking goes.I’m tempted by this all the time. Sadly, it’s a piss poor instinct, especially in a case like this, as my hesitation would lead to the death of my boys and, though I might survive it physically, who the hell wants to exist in an emotionally dead state, knowing your family is dead because of you?Fuck that. I surely couldn’t go on that way.So I had to be ready.To be strong.To be fast.To be deadly.To react without hesitation.I could not ... would not falter when called upon.I replayed my role, over and over, in my mind’s eye, picturing exactly what I had to do. If I could see it, I could do it. If I could do it, we could live.Any second now... Just breathe until then... Be ready... Any second now... Don’t be afraid, just breathe... Be death’s.
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