The funeral is the next day."Heather nodded at Cecil and Cecilia. "Your presence would be ... awkward. Plus, you two had never met my mother."Cecil nodded. This was just like most of her trips. "Don't worry, Mistress. We'll hold down the fort." That leaves you, Katie. Do you want to go with me."Katie considered for a minute the most tactful way to decline. "I'd love to, Mom. But I've got mid-term exams coming up, and I'd miss three judo classes I'm teaching."The first excuse was bullshit, and Heather knew it. Midterms were two weeks away, and Katie had never had to study hard for anything in school.The second excuse had some merit. Katie was a fifth degree black belt in judo, and loved to teach it. Her small stature was a real advantage in judo, more so than any of her other martial arts disciplines. But she didn't need the money the job paid, and there were several students that could sit in as instructor, when she wasn't there."Any other reasons?" asked Heather."Well ... uh ... I. The corn fed darlings of Minnesota, Nebraska and Iowa. The lusty sisters of Notre Dame. The milk maids of Wisconsin. The Hoosiers of Indiana. And although Ann Arbor is a whore, thank you for the girls Michigan — future assembly line workers all of them. And the Buckeyes of Ohio. My good heavens how those girls can drink. Although I think the girls of Miami at Ohio suck better dick. But thank you for all of them.I want to thank the parents of the daughters of the Carolinas. Duke really does suck, and quite well too. I know there are a North Carolina and a South Carolina, but where the hell is Eastern Carolina? Doesn't matter. Nothing could be finer than a BJ from Carolina in the morning, as the song says. Not only are these Southern Belles beautiful and eager to please in the sack, they know their place is in the kitchen.Thank you for raising girls who are totally focused on themselves. Girls that couldn't give a flying fuck for anything except their own wants and desires. Girls who.
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