‘Their own denial is my pleasure. And my pleasure is their pleasure. A stronger pleasure than the pain their own denial causes. ‘I know I may be weird, but for me, there is probably no turn-on bigger than that.’ ‘Not even nubile school girls?’ I inquired. ‘Not to belittle that pleasure at all,’ he replied, ‘but no. Not even them. Not even close, in fact. ‘These longer-term Choto girls, I mean who knows, maybe they have lots of other motivations. How much can they take is one of them. How much of a challenge like this can they bear? It’s definitely a thing for many of them. ‘And maybe they feel competitive about proving how much they can take. Some of them probably are in it for a sort of notoriety.’ Zerzinski looked slightly pensive for a moment, before he continued. ‘People always have lots of different motivations, you know. But whatever other motivations they have, the one thing I know is part of the picture is they are not just in it for the inoculation. ‘It’s something. My wife won’t make love with me so I literally take matters into my own hands, and now you are pissed about that. I have really tried to give you whatever it is you need on this trip, and I can’t win!” I say storming back into the treehouse, slamming the door behind me.What the fuck? I can’t do this. I stalk into the bedroom and yank a pillow and blanket from the bed and return to the living room to settle in on the couch where I guess I will sleep. I have tried to be patient and understanding, but I have needs too. Fuck it!I toss and turn and eventually drift off, but I awaken in the darkness to sounds of sobbing. I roll over and Kira is sitting on the floor, with her head on the couch sobbing. She appears so fragile and broken at this moment, all my anger melts away. I reach down and pull my wife into my lap, hugging her.“Shhhhh. It’s okay, baby. It’s okay,” I whisper in her ear.“No, it’s not. I hate myself. I am so sorry,” she whimpers amidst tears.“Just talk to me. Please talk to.
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