"I would think my video tape of my performances would knock the directors' and producers' socks off." It does, but..." The sixty-something man blushed a deep red."Earl? What is it?" It's ... It's your figure."My stomach fell. "Oh." You've got to understand. When they want to show you on the big screen the public wants to see some curves. And to be honest, you have as many curves as a little boy." Earl!"He held up his hands. "Hey! I'm only quoting what a director said to me, not two hours ago." So, you want me to have a boob job?" Maybe some hip implants too."I had feared this would happen. I had hoped I would get by on talent alone. "I've worn falsies before, on stage."The agent shook his head, "Won't work when you are fifty feet tall on the big screen." I don't have the money to get one," I said."I'll pay for it," said my agent. "I'll take an extra percent on your first movie, to pay for it."I nodded glumly. "Okay."Earl beamed. "I've got you an appointment with one of the best in. If you have a dog, chances are he is practically your best friend already. He is more loyal than any man, and loves you completely, unlike many men. He doesn't talk back or argue, and he's always there for you. Why not take it a step further and let him become your sexual lover? Male dogs are naturally horny practically all the time, so helping him relieve some sexual frustration can just be a demonstration of your love for him, and a lot of fun for you! Unlike men, dogs are almost always ready to have sex when you want to, they won't tell all their friends about your experience together (and who cares if they do?), they can't expose you to AIDS or other sexual diseases, and, perhaps best of all, they can't get you pregnant!Now, I'm not some weirdo who advocates sleeping only with dogs and not with men. Far from it: I have a good relationship with my boyfriend and we are sexually active. (I've also had one serious relationship with a woman.) However, I seem to be hornier than he is,.
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