I've alerted him to my intention. I've stupidly caused him to doubt me. There is no way I can indulge myself if he is watching me closely. Why did I have to warn him? What kind of fool am I? I've just made it that much more difficult to have an affair.I've already made up my mind. I'm going to do this. I've just had a bad start. A poorly chosen strategy. I have to step back and rethink what to do.As I wandered through the house, I noticed the door to his study was open and he was no longer there. I tried the living room and then the kitchen, but he was nowhere to be found. I looked in the hall closet and noticed his windbreaker was missing. He had left. Where had he gone? Would he be back tonight? I could feel the fear in my stomach. This was turning into a nightmare.I poured myself and strong gin and tonic and continued to pace through the house. Howard didn't have a cell phone, so there was no way to call him. Would he answer even if he could? I need a way out of this mess. I have. I stepped up before she could say something which would make both of them feel worse. ‘Liz,’ I said in a quiet voice that brooked no discussion, ‘go up to your room. Stop at the bathroom and wash your face off first, but then go to your room and don’t come out.’ ‘Fine!’ she shouted, somewhat surprisingly offering no argument. She turned and ran past my wife and stomped her way up the stairs. I was still holding the pan with the pancakes and I turned to set it back on the stove with a defeated sigh. I wasn’t ready for this yet. I thought I had a few more years. I needed a few more years. My other daughters were quiet. My wife straightened her shoulders and turned to follow Liz up. ‘Babe,’ I said, ‘Give it a minute, I’ll handle it.’ She turned and gave me a cold look, ‘I was going to our room, Jack, is that alright?’ she bit my name off. No pet name. I was in as much trouble as Liz. ‘I’ve got to get ready for work,’ she continued. ‘Right, fine, sorry,’ I said, trying to.
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