I have been trying to tell myself those things over and over again in these more frequent situations as of late. But what good does it ever do? I find myself right back in this same situation. Perhaps a different day, a different time, a different location, but still: here. Immobile mentally. A disability that is currently manifesting itself physically in a way that paralyzes my legs and feet. Peering through the cracked door, I observe meticulously painted, square shaped, silver toenails. They shimmer atop five, dainty, light bronze toes. They are digging into the very jet black carpet that I installed myself a year ago at her request. I observe those toes clench the plush carpet and release. Before I know it, a smooth tapered foot sole is revealed as it lifts to pivot away from me. My eyes travel up this delicate side of a foot to a thin bronze colored ankle that is smaller than my wrist. A smooth calf that is the like the color of poured honey reveals itself to me flexing as. He often appeared on one screen as a CG image, or more rarely as aprojected hologram in middle of the room, but now the screen was blank.Finally, the words came: "Sadly my existence is tied to this machine.To this location." Cannon's voice quivered with emotion. Fearprobably. Technology even allowed for a synthesized voice to pick upthe tone of this engineered consciousness.He was tied to a stationary object, it was true. But it had beenCannon's choice. As he lay on his deathbed years ago, he could havechosen to download his thoughts and memories, his manners and hisnuances, to an automotive frame of some sort, but he chose instead todownload to the GAX - the mainframe of the business he had built.Perhaps it was ego - with the collapse of his body to become the brainof own creation. Perhaps it was convenience - to stay connected withoutperiodic downloads. But in truth it was fear (Cannon would say caution)- automotive frames can malfunction, and a loss of power would kill.
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