”Silence enclosed the room like a blanket. I felt my heart pounding against my rib cage. Wanting to admit that I felt the same way, but not brave enough to take this step, I instead said nothing. Eventually, I broke the silence: “Yeah…Don’t be ashamed about it. To be honest, I feel the exact same way. I don’t really want to kiss a guy or have sex with a dude, but sometimes I do picture jerking off with a guy, or even maybe giving a guy head or something.”I couldn’t believe my ears. I had admitted it. My deepest secret verbalized for the first time. I felt naked, exhilarated, and excited all at once. There, sitting on Ryan’s bed, drinking screw-drivers in the dark, we realized that we shared a similar burning curiosity.Then, the unthinkable happened. Ryan leaned over. Slowly, I felt his lips brush against mine. I could taste the sourness of the OJ and vodka as Ryan brought his lips to my own. I opened my lips with hesitation and let Ryan move his tongue against mine. I felt lightheaded. Oldham's office to tell him I was leaving. Suzanne was there and reminded me about shopping and golf the next day. She also informed me that I was scheduled to visit the dentist and doctor on Wednesday.I went home and phoned Marcie. She claimed that she had calmed down. "I know you're right, Sammy. Preserving what we have is important to me, too." I'll call you when I get back to school on Thursday," I said, thinking that we had told each other everything."Hey!" Hey, what?" Almost sleeping together was fun, wasn't it?" We did sleep together," I said."We slept in the same bed. We didn't SLEEP together," she corrected me, laughing as she hung up.I called Jeannie to apologize for not finding out if Josh was cheating on her."It's all right. I confronted him about it. He says he's not cheating." That's great!" I said, relieved. "Are you sure you can believe him?" We've been together a long time, Sammy. I apologized for suspecting anything. I know I can trust him." It's nearly four years,".
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