I was surprised it had rained it wasn’t calling for it. I stood up to get some more lemonade for Thomas my foot had gone to sleep. It instantly folded under my weight throwing me onto his lap. Thomas caught me held me close. His eyes were looking into mine I felt like I was spinning out of control. I didn’t move his hands were holding to my hip and my shoulder. I wanted to kiss him just innocent’s kiss something that I could hold into my heart relives when I was lonely. ‘Abigail I want to kiss you. I just want to kiss your perfect mouth, I will understand if you don’t want me to. Just tell me no and I will let go and we can forget this ever happened?’ Thomas whispered into my ear. ‘Thomas I need you to kiss me. I have needed it for a long time actually.’ I whispered softly. Thomas brought his face to mine allowing my heart to speed up. His lips were almost touching mine. I was becoming breathless I desired him in so many levels. My lips went up to meet his lips barely touching that. But it had been an agonising, soul-searching week away.I felt bipolar, my mood swinging from pure unadulterated pleasure at the sexual side of Cassie's and my relationship, to deep depression and even shame for succumbing to her and betraying her mother, Mary, a wonderful woman I'd known for fifteen years.Work had helped take my mind off the problem, but it hung like low, heavy clouds over my head. The only solution I could come up with was to stop. Somehow I had to stop our sexual relationship and wait until she turned eighteen. And, as deeply depressing as that thought was, watching her practice, seeing her move so gracefully, my heart racing just from observing her, I knew, if she loved me, she'd wait. That only made it harder.After practice I took her to Wilket Creek Park to wander through the tended Edwards Gardens. Late afternoon temperature was falling. I led Cassie into the ravine where we could stroll amongst tall maples and oaks with their spectacular fall colours, a brook.
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