And other, more adventurous, even dirtier daring dreams.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Alessandra feels all alone after being turned down. What else to do, except much more masturbation?Alessandra alineates and is mostly all alone, although she keeps close contact with Linda, who is all into men. Alessandra is all alone, halfway her teen years as a yummy young blonde beauty. Most girls her age turn their focus outward, she turns the other around, inwards. As it happens at that time in life, her reaction is extreme. She can't bare to see herself in the mirror. Alessandra only has an eye for how ugly she is. Second sign of the time in life she is in, is being extremely self-critical at times. Seen by others, a simple lack of self-confidence. Which is very common.Alessandra bans mirrors from her bedroom, as she barely survives a long look at her looks in the big bathroom. After my big sister Julie left three years ago, my mother started to drink even more and most days she slept on the couch, oblivious to everything and everyone around her. It wasn't a home any more.The day Julie told me, that she would leave, the image of the world I had created in my head shattered. I knew I would miss her, besides the few friends I had, she was the main reason I had hope that one day things would be different. But I also knew that I would do the same if I was in her place.My hands are shaking. It's a mixture of fear and anticipation. Mrs Banks didn't tell me very much about my foster family, just the headlines. He is in advertisement, she is a housewife. They have two daughters, one son who is going to college and they live in the suburbs. At least the last fact is a comforting one. The home at Lexington I have stayed in for the last six months is at the other side of the city. In that time I hadn't much opportunities to see Brian, Malcolm and especially Mia, my.
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