" I started, still not able to contain the blush. "I'll have thesame." Alright, I'll be right back with those drinks if you want to take a lookat the menu."He left and Josh and I turned our attention to the menus. I was sonervous that I wasn't really hungry. I was thinking of just getting asalad."Don't worry about the price," Josh said. I hadn't until he mentioned it.This was a very expensive restaurant, I quickly found out after glancingat the prices. "Don said he would pick up the bill."I nodded, but that didn't make worrying about the price any easier.Learning that it was being paid with my family's money didn't make mefeel any better about the expense. Now I was sure I was only going to getthat salad.We didn't talk much before our waiter returned. I'd set my menu down, butJosh seemed to be having a hard time deciding what to eat. "Ready to order?" Tom asked after placing our drinks in front of us. "Almost," Josh answered. "Sarah, if you're ready you can order first."The waiter. At this point, I expectGeorge to disappear as well in a day or two, yet I feel hollow. I feelguilty that I have little attachment to this poor cursed boy. Will Ifeel anything when he is gone? I fear that the answer is no. How have Icome to be so unfeeling towards another human being? These thoughtscontrast so sharply with the intensity that was the Lily's Path. To me,The Lily's Path seemed to be feeling itself, a gateway back to thesensation of liveliness that I fear is slowly disappearing from me.My sisters met without me this evening. I overheard the chorus of theirvoices from Sister Carli's room. I can only assume they have allaccepted The Lily's Path. Only I remain, slowly decaying from theinside, if the steady soreness between my legs was any indication of mycondition.Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will ask to join The Lily's Path. If I do notembrace it, an existence bereft of feeling akin to purgatory inevitablyawaits me. The Lily's Path is my salvation and I will have to.
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