Phir aunty chai banana lag gaye who us time ghar me akeli thi unka husband out of station tha us din assam bandh tha, aur me comics pad raha tha oh aunty boli raj agar tum bura nai manoge toh mera ek kaam kar doge maine kaha kyou nai aunty aap boliye na kya kaam hai who boli andar aao na me gaya toh unhone kaha ki mere bed ke niche kuch saman hai mujhe usme se kuch nikalna hai toh humlog pehle dunlod ki gadda ko hataya phir heavy wali lakdi ke partition the bich in three pics toh pehle men eek ko uthaya aur side karke rakh diya jab me rakh raha that oh unhone dusra utha diya aisa karte waqt unke kamar me pain aa gaya ( just gand ke upar wala portion) toh phir hamne jaise taise thik kar ke rakh diya, phir aunty ne mujhe chai diya phir dono jan chai piye jab me jane ke liye nikla toh aunty kaha mere kamar me bohot pain ho raha hai thoda malish kar do na maine kaha thik hai toh phir who mujhe andar le gaye aur ulta so gaya me unko nigty ke upar se hi daba ne laga. Phir who boli ki pain. Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I'll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered – the local cafe serve breakfast until 11.30."Jesus Loves You."Nice to hear in church but not in a Mexican prison.Got caught having a piss in the local swimming pool today.The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a Muslim sneaking through next door's garden.Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.Astonished, I got back into bed.My.
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