Growing up, he had been the butt of his playmates' jokes. He was the one they would always pick on, the one who "accidentally" got his nose smashed by a baseball, the one who slipped on a banana peel, the one who caught the measles, the one that nasty things always seemed to happen to.Adulthood brought no noticeable improvement. He had dropped out of school when the going got rough (It wasn't my fault!) and had earnestly followed the path of least resistance. The dead-end low-paying jobs he managed to get reflected his total lack of self-esteem. He had slowly drifted to the bottom of the social pyramid, and his prospects were approximately nil.Of course, he was still a virgin at age 35. His pathetic attempts at getting a girlfriend invariably ended in comedy or catastrophe. Poor self-confidence and non-existent social skills do not lead down the path to success with the opposite sex.The woman on the street handed him a leaflet.THE PATH TO AMAZING SELF-IMPROVEMENT:SUCCESS AND WEALTH. I used to live in my Papi’s mansion on his compound in the middle of the city. Okay, mansion is not quite the right word. More like a palace. It is huge and all the walls are hand-carved, at least the ones not covered in tapestries. And the estate was, like, 50 square miles. There were at least a dozen roads going into it, and it was all incredibly beautiful. There was a stream that is more like a river (you could swim and fish in it), grottos, groves of fruit trees that had fruit year-round, and more outdoor fireplaces than you can count. There were amazing sex parties here, and it was all just the way he wanted it. Everybody understood the message of that place: ?I am large and in charge.?Palace isn’t even a big enough way to describe it.It was a temple.Papi had these guys who worked for him. They were known as ?The Gospel?, which was a bad joke based on their names. And I never really understood it, because there were five of them. Weren’t there only four Gospels in the Bible? I.
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