We started out at a nice little Tapas restaurant and had a delicious meal with more than a few drinks. We then went to a great little dance club where to my surprise my 52 year old mother-in-law danced me from one end of the floor to the other. At one point while we were resting a young man asked if he could dance with my "date", and I smiled at her and said "why not?" Kelly was a little apprehensive at first, dancing with a stranger, but the alcohol and fun of the evening loosened her up enough where before I knew it she had danced with more than a couple young guys.I thought I would try to rescue her at last, maybe head back to the hotel when a slow song came on while she was held by a muscular guy who looked like a local. He danced very close to her, and it looked like he was grinding his crotch into her leg. The skirt she had on was above he knee with a side split and as he ground the skirt rose revealing her stocking tops. I was quite surprised to see she was wearing stockings. I am not just his boss. He wantssomething of all the skills that I have. The truth is that he will neverbe a great chef, but he could be a very good one. But I cannot tell himthat. I just cannot afford to lose him. I can never blurt out the way Ifeel. He would leave in terror.Until he came into my kitchen my life was so normal, but now it is inpieces. There is that sense of joy that love can bring, but how can yoube happy when you face the impossible?Diary Entry 4It is done, and I am still alive - but only just.I had the opportunity to talk to him about the feelings that I had forhim. We went to my herb garden together this morning.Of course, he has not so foolish that he cannot see how I look at him.That is why he started our private chat by confirming that he was notgay. It was a friendly way of saying that he wanted to keep his job andstay on as an under-study provided that I understood that he was notinterested in men.I told him that I had no experience of homosexual.
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