"I'll... I'lljust spend some extra time on the bike," she said with a forced smile asshe thought of why she even cared what her body looked like."So, are you still going out with Steve tonight?" This question causedDevon to spit out all of her food, making her dad look at her like shewas dying. "Oh my God, Devon! Are you okay!?" He said with a panic as hegot up and moved to her side."I'm fine, Dad," she said in between coughing, as she took the drink herdad was holding out to her and drank it all. "I just choked onsomething, that's all." Well," her dad said as he returned to his seat, still visibly shaken,"it's better you do that here than with Steve tonight." Yeah," Devon said as she wondered who Steve was. Suddenly in her mindshe could see visions of a very handsome guy running on a track. Hisstrong body pumped like a piston as he bolted past other racers to thefinish line. She also saw images of the two of them sitting on the couchin her living room. He would kiss her neck softly. I stood over him with one of his softball bats, thinking really hard. In the end, I began remembering what it was like when mommy died and I went back to bed.I did throw a tantrum the next day after lunch, screaming and crying and generally calling him all the words I had learned from the boys that I knew I wasn't supposed to know yet. It was a good fit and took nearly an hour for daddy to get me calmed down enough to talk to me. He was thinking all the things I thought he was. He regretted losing his little girl. He liked me when I dressed up in dresses and pastels. He liked my hair done up in the elaborate styles that mommy used to do. He found it cute when I used to play with my dolls or my tea set or my play kitchen set. In short, he missed his little girl and he thought it was his fault she was gone. He was trying to get her back.I wiggled down from the chair he had thumped me down in and climbed up into his lap. Really looking at him, I was shocked to suddenly realize how much.
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