Ryan decided to watch--and then understood why Courtney wanted him to. The music they skated to was Sarah McLachlan's Fallen, a gorgeous piece of music with lyrics that were laced with bitter self-recrimination. The dance that Courtney had choreographed was restrained and understated, and quite beautiful. And Ryan acknowledged this performance to be exactly what Courtney intended it to be--an act of contrition.After all was said and done--Sophia and Warren won, with their Lisa Lynne/Enya program, and Courtney and Evan beat Ryan and Amy for third--Courtney stopped Ryan back stage. "Can we talk?" If you want," Ryan said.They went to the coffee shop in the hotel. They settled at a corner table with some coffee. "Thanks for agreeing to talk," Courtney said."I have to say, the phone call threw me," Ryan told her. "Without that, I might not have agreed to this. But I confess to a degree of curiosity."Courtney sighed. "Think of it this way. Think of being stuck in a maze. And you try, and. She turned her eyesaway from me and looked at the books in the bookshelf behind me, her eyes probably seeing nothing, as she seemed completely focused on her story, the information she wanted to give me and the thoughts she wanted to process and maybe communicate to me as well. ‘So there I was, in a family with a religious mother and a sometimes-drunk, most-of-the-time-absent father, and my all too perfect brother, the shining light in our family. I suppose it isn’t very unusual, still, that men are considered better and worth more than women, but I hope it isn’t as bad in most families as it was in mine. My mother was just a necessary evil, almost more like an unpaid servant than someone of true value, someone to be counted on, someone to love. And me, a small, skinny child with my strange hair- and eye-color, was worth even less. It took me years to figure out that it was all because of our gender, the we — as born into the weaker sex — were not equal in the eyes of my father. I.
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