" I don't understand." Mr. Golick, is there anyone in your office who is a figure skating fan?" Yeah, Linda Allard." Is she there? Call her over." OK." There was a brief pause. "She's here. I'm putting you on speakerphone." Hi, Ms. Allard," Warren said. "Mr. Golick tells me you're a figure skating fan. Do you know who Warren Kelleher is?" Sure!" Linda said. "He's an ice dancer. Won the silver medal at nationals, and just won junior worlds." That's me." Really?" Linda said. "Wow! I'm a big fan!" Thank you," Warren said."OK, there's a point here, but I'm missing it," Mr. Golick said, bemused."Ice dancers have partners," Warren said. "Mine's name is Sophia Daniels. As an added bonus, she's also my girlfriend. You'll find her application on your desk, somewhere. We know she got in to Wisconsin, but we haven't heard about her financial aid deal yet. Wherever we go, we go together." Got it. Let me find Miss Daniels' file and see where we're at." Great!"Warren called Sophia and told her. ” Jon said with a bright blush and shrug, but relief that everything was left at that and not his worst nightmare of being discovered.“Ok son, I’ll forgive you. If you can just clear up a few things for me. First what made you want to masturbate, what was it that caused you to need to play with your penis here, at home, in my bathroom that couldn’t wait until you got back to school, or wait until you were in your room looking at playboy on the computer?” She questioned with innocence but demand.“Um, I don’t know mom. I just do it in the shower sometimes…”“ok,” his mom said, “but from now on you are not going to do it in my shower. Or the rest of the house for that matter. I forgive you, you’re free to go.”“thanks, man, I’m sorry again”“you know, don’t call me, man. Call me mother. Please”Yes, MOmmm…” Jon rolled chuckling and trying to brush off the awkwardness with a joke.“not mom, Mother. Got it? Good” she said standing up to go she was still wearing her transparent bathing suit.
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