Those coming into the barrack room when most of the inhabitants were asleep were prone to waking slumbering apprentices, asking if they wanted to buy a battleship, or some other ludicrous question. I thought I had been woken by some similar late arriving ‘comedian’ and told the owner of the voice to go away, not in those exact words but using language which made my meaning crystal clear. Nonetheless the voice persisted.“No Jack, your kitbag really is on fire. Look.”My white canvas kitbag was stowed behind my bed on the heating pipes that ran around the room. I sat up and turned to look behind me. Sure enough there was a reddish tinge at one end of the white, cylindrical kitbag, making it appear like a glowing cigarette.I blame my subsequent action on being half asleep, and fully stupid.I jumped out of bed, grabbed the kitbag and rushed down the centre deck towards the doors which opened onto the landing. Bad move.The extra oxygen, forced into the kitbag by my precipitous gallop,. I mean,we talked about that." At some level, probably. But I may have avoided facing up to it." Well, you've made your choice, and I'm confident that in time you'llfeel it's the right one. But it does make things more awkward at first,because you can't hide any more. Don't worry. Having things out in theopen is a very good thing. The stress of a secret second life is deadly.You'll be able to just be who you are. Which raises the question, do youhave a handle on just who you are?" It depends on what role I'm in. Most of the time, I'm fully male." Not any more you're not."We were silent for a few seconds. I broke the silence: "So now what?" Be proud. Proud of your figure. Proud of your boobs. Proud of yourfemininity. Integrate your male and female sides into a new, better,complete person. Whether that person ends up being male or female, orsomething in between, doesn't really matter. What matters is for you tobe whole, and to believe in yourself." So you're saying I shouldn't try to.
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