In college, I had written my senior thesis on the Danish folklorist Axel Olrik's Law of threes. As the date approached, I started seeing threes in everything from the morning traffic to the evening news. I am somewhat prone to ranting, so Daisy was quite aware of my growing obsession.Three days before my birthday, I was in a surreal state somewhere between dread and amusement as the threes continued to pile up. I was trying to put these feelings aside and get some work done when my office phone rang. I answered and was pleased to here Daisy's voice, but a bit irritated by what she had to say.“I decided to have the house fumigated,” she announced, “We have to stay at a hotel tonight.”“Did this really need to be done now?” I sighed. “It couldn't wait until we were going out of town or something?”“We are having people over for your birthday, and I saw 2 fleas yesterday. The dogs are being groomed and boarded, so it’s no big deal. I already booked a room for us, anyway.”“Where are we. Hmm, scarf, frock and apron are all acceptable.Oh but those eyebrows! They've grown out a bit again already, haven't they? Make sureyou pluck them properly tomorrow morning, won't you?“”Yes, Ma'am.“”Hmmm, rouge is just about OK, but the lippy…“ she shook her head, ”… you have notdone very well at all: nothing like that luscious, exaggerated cupid's bow look I want.Still,“ she qualified, relenting slightly, ”you didn't have a lot of time, so I willexcuse it this once. But you need concentrate on getting that just right in future,don't you?“”Yes, Ma'am.“”Come closer then, let's have a look under the frock.“He minced a few steps closer and gathered his skirts high about his waist.”Oh, good, fully shaven already! That's nice! Now, what about this girdle, yes, quite asnug fit. Still XL is it?“”Yes, Ma'am.“”Mmmm, we were trying to get you into an L as soon as, weren't we?“”Yes, Ma'am.“”Well?“”I… oh… I… the L is still very tight, Ma'am.“”Oh dear, that's a shame. Still, it won't kill you.
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