."Stop!" I cried. "How can you know these things?"The girl lifted her head to look at me, and I could not hold back the scream at the sight of her face. It's not that she was suddenly hideous, or even scary; it was still her face, except for the eyes. The barest glimpse of those eyes burned me to the core of my existence. In those eyes I saw the totality of my sin, shining from her innocent face to condemn me. I was in agony, sure that the very flesh was melting away from my bones. But that was as nothing compared to the pain in my chest, where I felt as if my very heart would burst. So deep was my grief and shame that I felt as if I would rather die then and there than live another moment with what I had done. I tried to look away, but those eyes held me in a vice-like grip, helpless and hopeless in the face of my own sin. The nightmares of the past week paled to insignificance in comparison.An eternity later – as suddenly as it had begun – it was over. I was back in the conference. "get inhere" i came in,"crawl" i dropped to my knees and crawled to you, you were sitting onthe toilet bowl with your undies around your ankles, "take those offme" you instructed lifting your ankles, i grabbed the undies and tossedthem aside. "now listencarefuly, when you unpacked the toilet paper last night we had only one rollleft, so i'm gonna be very nice to you and leave that for you, in fact i havedecided i dont want my precious skin to ever cme in touch with this toilet paeranymore its like sand paper and i deserve better." " we couldby a thicker one" "no youidiot, theyre all the same, i got you now i dont need a thicker one" i was shocked,excited and slightly grossed out, what were you suggesting, i took a deepbreath, from the smell of the room you had just had a bowel movement, you couldsee the worry in my eyes. and you just ignored it. "turn aroundand ly down facing up, with your head at the bottom of the bowel" i obeyd, you gotup and quickly squatted over my face and.
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