If she did say something, though, I didn’t know if I would tell them what I did or what I wanted to do. I was sure that I couldn’t tell them what I wanted to do. I didn’t think many of them would like me too much. I pondered all this on the way to breakfast and I was so lost in my thoughts that I stubbed my toe. Twice. When I went to the tables, the other men were all talking amongst themselves quietly and they stopped when I sat down. They each took a turn eyeing me and my lip and then looking at Elyse. Suddenly I had realized that they probably thought we got into a fight. I just sat there chuckling to myself about the whole thing and ate my breakfast. After breakfast, I got all my work gear on and headed outside to get ready for the day.I was sharpening the blades on the saw when Greg came out and asked what happened to my face. I told him what happened with Roger catching me kissing Elyse in the hallway but that was all I really said about it. He didn’t seem happy with my. Working with, and helping, people was what I had wanted to do all my life, even if the initial plan had been a slightly different one. This was where I belonged, this was where I could help make a difference, this was also the safe way, the smart choice. Walking in after a stressful morning, expecting to sit down quietly, listening to the thoughts of the people who came to see me, trying to help by just being there for them or reaching out with simple advice, but instead being surprised by a hysterically crying woman, needing true comfort and deeper, more complicated spoken truths, it took my day another step higher on the ‘just tough it out’ scale. And the day just kept on in that strange fashion, with surprising revelations and a general need for higher attention, and more active guidance. The call just after lunch from school asking me to come by for another ‘small talk’ about the twins sent the day to an all-time high, and I gladly greeted the last appointment, knowing with.
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