"I'm a man. Men don't have breasts. They're tumors." His outrage had at least stopped his crying. But Jack was wrong. They were indeed breasts. And what a pair of hooters they were! Any woman alive would have been proud to have possessed this perfect pair of tit flesh. But since Jack was a man and a not so proud possessor of these lovely jugs, they looked totally out of place."They're breasts," Helen maintained. "I don't know how but that's what they are." But what should I do?" Jack looked like he was about to cry again."I'd go shopping for a bra if I were you," said Helen."I can't go bra shopping. I can just imagine. 'Hello, miss. I'm here to try on bras.'" Jack shuddered with revulsion as he played out the scene in his mind. "I can't go out in public ever again much less shop for a bra. I might as well kill myself here and now."Helen knew Jack well enough to know he wasn't suicidal, but she realized he was going to have difficulties adjusting to having breasts so she agreed to go. Judging by the look on her face she wasn’t ever kept waiting. I sat in the car and the seatbelt barely around me when the g-forces hit me, my only thoughts were if I had written my will properly and when was the last time I told my parents that I loved them. ‘Why are your feet on my dashboard?’ ‘I’m bracing myself for impact.’ Was my only reply. There was a screech of all four wheels locking, the car behind had to swerve to avoid rear ending us. Lacey got out the car a face like thunder, walked around to my side and said. ‘Well if you can do any better you drive.’ So there we were, me being the chauffeur, while Lacey sat and boiled in the passenger seat, I swear if it wasn’t for the fact she had to give me directions she would have sat in silence the whole three hour journey. I must say when we got there I could see why she had chosen this spot. Her plot had an acre of wooded land behind it set on a slight hill, that overlooked open fields, with a small brook running out of the woods.
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