’ ‘Oh yes you are, my dear. He’s no use to me.’ ‘But why not? That makes no sense!’ ‘Oh Nicki. I hate spelling things out.’ And she took a sip of tea. I dropped down into the other armchair deep in thought. Mary just sipped her tea and looked over at me occasionally. What could she mean? Was it because Nigel had disobeyed Mary’s command that she had no further use for him? Was it because it seems that Nigel fancies me, that she doesn’t want him any more? And anyway, what did it mean to have Nigel. I assumed he lived with his parents, like he told me. I wondered how often he came to Mary’s house. Did he do odd jobs for her? Would he do that for me? Did I want that? What did I want? All I had wanted was for Nigel to be punished, but only so I could see what it was like for him to be punished. I had had no idea that somehow he’d be passed to me like a… well… like a slave. I was lost in thought as I sat curled in the chair, when Mary broke me out of my reverie. ‘Nicki!’ ‘Mmmm? What?’ I. I felt so vulnerable!In response, Claire's voice held as steady as her gaze, unmoved. "I've invited you to come with me and join in with us and make yourself welcome, and do all kinds of things with us. Just agree you'll come not as my husband but as a gay guy or a girl. Of course Chuck would know that you're really my husband. But if you were really sincere he'd know that you don't intend to act like a husband in any way during the evening, and that would be good enough. The others wouldn't know anything." I don't know why I can't be introduced as your husband. If that's what I am, and that's what he knows I am, why not?" Something in me just wouldn't quit."Oh dear," she said to the air, rolling up her eyes. Then she mustered enough energy to look directly at me and to speak slowly, deliberately, with some force. "Because that isn't how he or anyone else wants to know you. I've already told you! He wants to meet you either as the gay friend who lives with me or as my.
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