Is that why you called?" No ... I just wanted to make sure you had my cell phone number." No problem, I've got caller ID and I'll save it right away. In the meantime I've got to go. Talk to you later," she said, ending the call before I could wish her good luck. Damn.I called John Fortrand and gave him my cell number and he made a note of it. Next it was Norman Fears."Mr. Fears, I called to let you know my cell number. I can give it to you, if you like." Yes, thank you. I wanted to call you anyway. I was wondering if you had decided to put in a bid on the Bending Willows property?" I probably will but I haven't had the opportunity to get all the information I need to make an appropriate offer. I should have it by the end of the week however," I said, grinning to myself."I'm not sure I can guarantee that the property will still be available then, Mr. Monahan. Are you sure you can't provide a bid sooner than that?" I have to do my due diligence, sir. That's my protection as I'm sure. That makes five years in a row.Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet...I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me!When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation...My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes.”I’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do the second week.Even duct tape can’t fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.This item is compliments of an Anonymous donor:A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.Three women, an.
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