The pressure accumulated in the past few days broke out. She lost her footing, fell on her knees and sobbed and sobbed."No, no, no, what happened to you Jinka?!" Alinor grabbed and lifted Jinka to her embrace.One lived in cave twenty four, the other in cave twenty five. They met each other only at work and rarely got together afterwards with the other kitchen's staff. Nevertheless, they knew each other for a long time, so even if there was not deep amity between them they still could not avert their emotions when the other was in a time of crisis.After ten minutes Jinka raised her head, her eyes were red and her fists were clenching Alinor's chef coat. She opened her mouth and finally felt willing to let somebody in on the agony she had repressed and thought that she was accountable for."Oh, Jinka ... You should not torment yourself over it. The differences in classes are inequitable. There was nothing which you could have done. Blaming yourself will only make you pointlessly drown. Ihoped he wasn't feeling too excluded, too left out."No, I don't think you want to be a woman," I replied. "Notalways, not for good. But I'm sure you like to imagine you areone, now and then. That you like to doll yourself up and let themirror persuade you. Like when you were talking with us aboutother women -- didn't it feel sort of sexy to imagine you were oneof us? Am I wrong?"He swallowed hard and struggled with himself a moment. Then,"Yes," he replied. And, "No, you're not wrong." He drove a littlefurther toward our house. "I do like imagining I'm one of you. How long have you ... been wondering about this? Suspecting it? About me?" His eyes were almost pleading. He was terribly worriedthat the compromised masculinity he'd just confessed mightcompromise my love for him. Maybe already had?No way! No way imaginable! "How long have I suspected? Oh,honey, for years and years! Practically since we first met. Iremember how you were obviously different from all the.
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