As thebottom of the suit reached my crotch, I tucked my penis back between mylegs, so as to put it out of harm's way next time I tried to catch mydinner. It was on the tight side for sure, but that was really what Ineeded. It kept everything in place.I could have stopped there, really. My bits were safe, and it justfelt like a pair of size-too-small tighty-whities. For some reason,though, the bodice and shoulder straps hanging loose at my waist gaveme a mild case of OCD. I tugged it up into place, sliding each armthrough the straps, feeling it squeezing my belly and man boobs into anew shape. I slipped on "my" shoes, the ones with the small heel,strung my bow, grabbed a few makeshift arrows, and made my way down tothe ocean.I was expecting to hate it. I didn't like not having room, and usuallywore my clothes baggy. For some reason though, as I walked I felt thebest I had done since I arrived on the island. True, the swimsuit wastight, but in such a way that it was holding. .. I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened.”The Judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the Best Man gets the first dance with the Bride.The judge says “OK.”“Well”, said Paddy, “After I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song ... when all of a sudden the Groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the Bride an unmerciful kick in her privates.”The Judge instantly responded... “Wow ... that must have hurt!”Paddy replies “HURT! ... He broke three of my fingers!”A guy was accosted by a hooker. She asked, “How ‘bout some relaxing oral sex, honey? Only $50”“No way!” he responded. “I’m married!”“So? What difference does that make?” asked the hooker.So he told her, “The difference is my wife will do it for only $35.”A.
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