I also saw the people I was closest to killed in action. The pain was almost unbearable. My answer to all of this was not to let myself get close to anyone. By doing this I would not be hurt ever again. I decided that after I was discharged, I would come to New York, get my MBA and become a millionaire. I worked like a demon to achieve my goals. I was one of the fortunate ones. I let no outside interest deter me from my objective. By the time I turned 58, I was independently wealthy, the head of one of the most well known brokerage houses, and alone. I had also kept the promise to myself not to form any relationship that would end up causing me pain. I was involved with many females during my life. Most just for what I called sport fucking. If I felt the relationship was becoming too serious I simply ended it. The one positive that did come out of the various relationships was that I had sex with so many different types, that I learned to become a very efficient lover. I learned that. He'd saved me from leading a pretty miserable existence.Now, hearing the terrible news of his death, I felt a deep sense of shame from knowing I'd never taken the opportunity with him to discuss the incredible impact he'd had on altering every single aspect of my life. I'd never properly thanked him for everything he'd done for me. Even though I felt bad about never having thanked him, I could, and did, take some degree of comfort from knowing that I'd told him I loved him, on several different occasions. He had been so smart, he had to know that I was functioning much better now, so much better than I had been when he first came to the orphanage to get me, nearly two years before.The secretary waited silently, for me to regain my composure. When I finally wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my school blazer, I saw her standing beside me, a completed campus exit pass in her hands. I took it from her and thanked her, before leaving the building and walking out to my car. I didn't bother.
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