But a small voice whispered that they had used each other. She began again. “Matilda, I…we… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leading you on. “What?” Matilda’s voice was quiet, but Rosanna noticed her hands were trembling. “I love you, too, but… “You’re finally saying the words I want to hear, but I don’t think I want to hear the rest,” said Matilda, a slight tremor in her voice as well. “I… This is not… I’ll just have to say it. Oh God, Matilda, I love you, but I’m not in love with you. Rosanna’s mouth felt as though it were filled with sand. She longed for a diet soda. “Oh, you’re not in love with me. And I suppose that when we made love you weren’t in love with me. What was that, Rosanna? Was I just some amusing past-time or your latest plaything?” Matilda’s voice began to rise in volume and pitch. “No. You know I’m not that kind of person, Mattie. We both enjoyed our lovemaking—“ Rosanna started, but was cut off. “You mean our having sex then because you said you didn’t love me.” Said. He released my bindings and half carried half pushed me upstairs. I noticed he took the one of the gin bottles with him. A plan came to me. When we were on the bed he took a swig of the gin and I tilted the bottle a little so more of the fiery liquid went down his throat. He offered it to me and I pretended to drink and cough and gave it back to him and he swallowed again. Now his eyes were glazing and I knew it would not be long before her slept. I took the bottle and held it to his lips and without thinking he took several more gulps before finally falling on to the pillow. Once more I opened his mouth and poured more of the gin down and held his nose so he choked and swallowed. Slowly I made my way downstairs and filled the mouths of the other two sleepers with as much whiskey and gin as I could. Apart from choking they didn’t react much. I found my tattered dress and shoes and left. Not wanting to see what horrors they had done with my lover, I left and tried to retrace my steps.
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