I pulled away from Meloney and said to Leslie, “Can you wait in the chair, please?” She stood up and walked over to sit in the chair by my desk, turning towards the bed so she could watch. I smiled giving her my assent. I turned my attention back to Meloney. She was wearing a skirt, so I pushed it up revealing her pink silk panties. I placed my hand on the inside of her thigh and asked, “Will you be mine forever?” She looked into my eyes, her green eyes sparkling, “Of course, Master.” I kissed her again and removed her shirt. To my surprise she wasn't wearing a bra. I pushed her down on the bed while kissing her. Meloney gasped as I placed my hands on her breasts. I gently played with her nipples while she moaned beneath me. I put my hand between her legs to cup her mound. Her panties were soaked as my fingers found her labia. I raised her skirt above her waist and grabbed the waistband of her panties, pulling them down and off her legs. I stopped for a moment to admire her body, she. Recovery (your word) is longer each time. The further I go, the harder it is to come back. And why do I, why should I turn back? Because that is what you expect of me? I know there is only one end to this ride, to this life so fraught with intensity. I embrace it. Why can’t you? You run when the darkness descends and show fear when I’m flying in the sun. You are forever waiting for the sun to disappear. You have no peace and nor do I, knowing your fears. You do have another life. A ‘normal’ life. You show me pictures of loved ones and events, you tell me boring normal stories as if I could somehow just absorb your normality and all would be well. You plead for more time as if it would make a difference but you are appealing to the wrong saviour. Who is the more deluded? I have no regrets and no reason to fight this inevitability. I have seen and felt more to this point than you ever will. I’ve loved, lost, hated, born a child and lost a child. It is Christopher’s death that has.
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