I smiled and wished I had some of my dresses with me as I wanted to runso they would flare around me.I walked into the field and stood there looking around as I noticed thebright sunlight streaming down. It seemed to warm my body and give memore energy. I almost started to skip along the green but stopped myselfas I thought people would laugh to see a grown man skipping like apreschool girl. I sat on the grass and looked down at myself and shookmy head as I took in my body and slowly two tears started to fall.As the tears touched the ground I saw something laying there in thegrass it sparkled invitingly. I picked it up and smiled when I saw itwas a young girl's bracelet with a pink stone set in it. I looked at itand wished it was magic and it seemed to glow as I looked at it. Itseemed to grow and pulse the more I stared at it and it filled thecenter of my vision. One of the tears splashed onto it, it flared into abright brilliance and the light sank over my body.My body started to. ‘You’d better get me the first time,’ I responded, with a grin of my own. It was the right response. She smiled, replaced the blade, and we continued with our embrace. This was in college, at the dawn of my ‘big man on campus’ days. I spent eleven months with this girl, and when I knew it was all over I slept with her one last time, and as invariably happened when I did that, she got pregnant. And as also invariably happened, she showed up at my door, prescription in hand, and asked only that I pay for half of the abortion. I was only too happy to comply, thanking God for Roe v. Wade and a woman’s right to choose. I was always highly in favor of that – not through any inherent nobility, only for my own fear of responsibility. I was grateful that a woman could look at me, look at her swelling womb, and decide ‘bad idea.’ I describe all this simply to point out that I was in no way an inherently heroic man. I was a human being, filled with faults and frailty, and consumed with the.
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