Chrissie had seemed unconcerned by the strange hand on her backside. I wondered whether she knew he was jerking himself off, or maybe even encouraging him. Maybe she thought it was me, I told myself; after all it was quite dark. Either way, it seemed she didn’t care as she was more interested in what she was looking at over the heads in front!“What can you see then, Chrissie?” I asked excitedly. She glanced back, her cheeks flushed and eyes wide. “SSHH, Just look at that,” she said, nodding at what was happening in front of her She seemed annoyed I had interrupted whatever it was she was watching. I wondered what she was thinking. By the look I had just seen on her face it wasn’t me on her mind – she seemed a different woman. She wasn’t the shy, quiet girl I met that first night, but a sexually charged woman who was scanning the club and taking it all in. I leant over her shoulder and caught sight of why she was so transfixed. In the middle of the dance floor was a gleaming,. ‘Mike, I am scared. I was scared when you blurted out that we had a future together after the assault, I was scared when we started to work things out, I was scared when Dad and Franciszka were sick, I was even more than scared before we made passionate love and lust the first time again. We kept our separate apartments, but you have spent many nights at mine, and us at yours. Now I’m scared when you wanted us to move in with you.’ ‘This is not about logic. This is not about love. It is not that I don’t trust you, I’m afraid of failure. Failing Franciszka, failing you, failing my father, and failing me. I did it once, I can do it again. What if I don’t measure up again? What if I get bored and want more spice? What if? What if?’ and she started crying. I held her close and said not a word. This was not about logic, this was about history and commitment. I had no idea that what I was going to say was going to make a difference. But I learned to speak from my heart. Sometimes it got.
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