“You keep changing the subject. First it’s a man, then it’s a button, now it’s a nut. Which is what I’m beginning to think you are.” “I don’t mean to be obscure,” Carlotta said. “I’m talking about my spark plug. You must have heard of what I’m referring to?” “I don’t think so, lady,” I said. I rolled my eyes and took another drink. A big drink. “Now it’s internal combustion engines; I’m getting a headache.” “I’ve got to find a man who can finger my pearl of pleasure,” Carlotta said. “There must be a knowledgeable man somewhere.” “Pearls,” I said, “now it’s pearls. My head is splitting.” I took another big drink. Then another. I looked around dreamily. And passed out, crashing headfirst onto my desk top. 2 Carlotta was back the next day. “Damn,” I said, rubbing the bandage on my forehead where I’d impaled myself on a large splinter the previous day. “Don’t you ever give up, lady?” “I’m desperate,” Carlotta said. “Perhaps you’ve heard of a clitty.” “Clitty,” I said, “That rings a. I couldn't take much more of this, i quickly gobbled down my food and told her " I need to do something, ial be 5 minutes" , "we don't have time hun, we are going to be late, get in the car " , " fine" i said, wishing my hard on would just disappear. The car ride there was the most Awckward car ride I had ever been in, trying to hide my hard on was near impossible as it was too obvious, we arrived at the school car park 15 minutes early, " why are you covering your crotch?" My mum asked in a motherly voice as she stopped the car, I couldn't think of anything to say as I was just speechless, what do I say, oh because your ass was so big and I just wanted to grab it, and now I have a hard on ......... I thought in my head....... " you should have taken care of that at home "she said........I didn't reply "we can't have you go into the interview with a hard" go to the back seat and take care of that she said".... I couldn't beleive what she had just said, was my own mother really.
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