And that was just from looking at the covers. I wanted very much to read a couple of those books. My curiosity was nearly overwhelming. But I decided that would be a bad idea. I may be a pervert at heart, but I am an honest person. I pushed the box back where I found it and closed the flaps back down. I finished up in the office and went back to cleaning the house.I did everything I was supposed to do. But today I did it in a fog. I could not get those books out of my mind! Finally I put my cleaning supplies away and picked up the check that Mr. Ford left for me on the kitchen island.I swear I was on my way out the door. But I couldn't do it. I was certain he wouldn't miss a couple of books. I would return them next week and he'd never know the difference. I ran back upstairs and picked out two interesting titles from the box. I hid them in my bag and left quickly, locking up with my key.I guess I should tell you something about myself. As I said, I just turned nineteen. I was living. But lately, for the past few weeks, months even…if I wanted sex, I’d be lucky to be given permission to jerk off. What happened? A lot of things, actually. Pregnancies, kids, bills, work…all the little nuisances in life. My biggest fear, however, has been that she just no longer found me interesting, attractive, and/or good enough to have sex with. Or worse- she may just no longer be interested in sex herself! It really became worrisome when I thought of the possible long-term affects- were we really going to be those kind of couples? You know the type: the ones who only have sex on special occasions, like anniversaries or birthdays, or who force sex on predetermined days just so that they could say that they still have it. I would have done it, of course…I love my wife. I, like most people, have my limits, but this is something I wouldn’t fight her on. It would have been a big pill to swallow, but if I would give my life for this woman, then what is sex, really? Fortunately, things.
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