She told me about her crush on Jim and... 'it seemed like a good idea at the time' — that Jim could date her, maybe even make love to her; that idea didn't really bother me. (Weird, or what?) What I didn't expect, and I should have at least considered the possibility, was that they fell in love; in a big way. I was happy for Susheela. I was even happy for Jim. I was not happy for myself. I put on a sort of 'happy indifference' — I even helped Jim plan his Christmas present outing for Su ... Oh, God...I loved him.But I loved him too much to have him just because ... I don't know, because he pitied me? Because he felt he owed me something? I wanted to be sure he loved me.When Su died, I mourned my friend. But it was much worse watching Jim come apart. I watched him functioning like an automaton, going through the motions of living. I sat with him, walked with him and tried to talk to him, but I couldn't get through to him.When Mrs. Price rang to say Jim was in a terrible state, I was. She had seduced her husband that night, before they left for the bar, and that was the last time she had made love to anyone... there were the two months in the hospital, her left leg pined in six different places and her husband now long in the ground.Their old house well back in the holler had been paid for by the insurance company and Jim had a good whole life policy and what with her state disability insurance she really didn't want for anything, anything that is except for the comfort of a man. Her daughter Linsey and her boyfriend Mike had move in two weeks ago when Mike had lost his job at the local Jiffy Lube. How in the hell do you loose a job at a friggin Jiffy Lube? Linsey was a nurses aide at the hospital but it only paid $9,75 an hour, not nearly enough for the kids to have their own place so here they were, home with momma!The springs quit squeaking and she heard the patter of footsteps going down the hallway to the only bathroom in the house and she presumed it was.
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