You can't help but wonder if you fall short.No, I don't mean there, I'm seven inches, that's seems pretty good, never gotten any complaints, no, it's more like maybe I'm just not attractive to women in some way or other.Well, it was different from having her leave me for another guy. It put me down for several months until I finally just told myself I needed to get out and find someone new. Instead of that, I had been working off my frustration two ways, at the gym which, at least keeps me in shape, and with my hand, a poor substitute for the real thing.So, on a Friday night, I went out to a local watering hole I knew and stationed myself with a bottle of "Whatever-Lite" beer and watched the crowd. I noticed right off that the crowd seemed less than it used to, probably due to all the new martini bars that were even more popular than tapas bars these days.Just before ten, as I sipped my second quasi-beer, a group of four women came in and went right for the table next to mine. Maybe. We entered the hallway and I led her to the elevator. I managed a smile which she promptly returned. The elevator doors opened to reveal the building’s caretaker, a dour, hawk-faced old Scots woman who turned away as she saw us, to face the elevator’s control panel. I pressed the button hard for the fifth floor, turning away from Tamsin as I did so. Then the crazy notion entered my head that I was going to turn back and find that she had vanished. But there she stood, a reality of living, breathing loveliness.I moved and stood next to her as the elevator began its ascent. The old caretaker briefly looked round at us. Then Tamsin looked me in the eye and with her sophisticated English voice full of sincerity, she said,"Don’t worry, I’m not a whore, but I am a slut."I could not believe she had said this and I instantly realized that she intended to shock the old woman as much as to surprise me. The statement achieved both objectives and I heard a disapproving mutter escape the old.
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