So ... does it hurt when it’s ... like that?”He looked at her again, not knowing if she was making fun of him or not. She didn’t sound like it. She was so strange, though, asking questions like that, that he didn’t know what to think.“No,” he said, hoping that would be the end of it.“I don’t see how it could be like that and not hurt,” she said conversationally. “Course I don’t have one. Did you know your brother made love to my sister?”Peter’s mind whirled. This was all so strange he didn’t have the faintest idea how to act.“What are you talking about?” he croaked.“I don’t want to stand in the sun while we talk,” she said.“And I don’t want to talk to you while you’re lying in the dirt. Why don’t you get up? Let’s go inside and talk there. We can get something to drink and have a nice chat.”Peter moaned. She was acting so normal, blathering on like he had just come for a neighborly visit. She obviously knew that he was stiff, but didn’t seem the least bit concerned or upset about it.. Big confrontations with bigots, sure, but other, smaller indignities, embarrassing enough to express except online with other people who had gone through the same thing. And so I kept going, starting my own business because I had so many bills, so much debt, and so few places that wanted to hire me. Living in this rathole because my family didn’t really want to see me, scared to talk to people, because of their reaction, because of mine. I shut people out, assuming the worst.And things got better. Clichéd enough to say, something that got repeated on a loop so much that I didn’t even believe it, but slowly some of the pain stopped. No, that’s not quite right. It faded into the background, becoming a sort of white noise that pushed me into doing something protective. I started taking care of myself more. I got used to my new body, and beamed with pride when I ordered my first B cup bra.Yes, vain as it may sound but so much of it was tied to my appearance. But then again, maybe those.
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