I just don't want their vile, disgusting, filthy hands anywhere near me. Other than that, I'm fine with the losers. Lesbianism was a mystery to me.The internet was in its infancy so my research was very limited. I was truly a stranger in a strange land. No Netflix. I couldn't even watch lesbian classics like "Blue is the Warmest Color" or "Below Her Mouth."(Shout out to Audrey for that delicious nugget.)Which brings me to my mother and the gut-wrenching coming out debacle. Each night I would pace my bedroom, sorrowful, like Game of Thrones fans after the lackluster series finale. At least I didn't have to face it alone. My potent strains of cannabis and a bottle overflowing with anti-depressants were there for me as always. Four joints and ten Xanax later (washed down with half a bottle of Jack Daniels) I careened my way to the kitchen where my mother was preparing her nightly delicacy, known to gourmets everywhere as Salisbury steak. With slurred speech, I told her we needed to. She even had to give a speech infront of a lot of other students. She had to attend for a full semester,but she received 3 credits for it. Various assignments that we received were specific as to where we weresuppose to be at a given time or to whom we were to speak to! I must havefailed on an assignment that stated I was to walk a specific distance ata point of time in my own neighbor hood. This assignment was delayed by ahalf hour so that I may finish a television program I was watching. Inever thought the Mail Order Mistress was watching everything. I receiveda text asking why I failed my exercise assignment! I knew better thanoffer an excuse. I advised her of my choice to watch the end of a programand that I made my walk with out fail. I heard nothing more till the nextday. I attempted to watch T.V. only to learn my cable had been turnedoff. I called Cox Communications only to learn that it was turned off andthat my account was frozen. However I still had my high speed internet..
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