You never asked about his soul. Even I dont know how to heal that. But you knew what I wanted, and you knew what would happen, and you didnt say anything! You didnt warn me! Hester looked away. Why should I have, after you cheated me? Porphyria grabbed the crop up again. Cheated? I gave you everything what you wanted, you disgusting slag! No! said Hester, coming at Porphyria so fast that she actually backed away. You didnt, you didnt at all. I wanted you, but all you gave me was your body! So thats what I gave you, a body. Like for like. Hester squared her shoulders, expecting another blow. It didnt come. Then she saw that Porphyria was actually crying. Isnt there any way? said Porphyria. Isnt there any way for me to really be with him again? Hester looked away again. The sight of tears on Porphyrias cheeks disturbed her. I dont know, she said. And then: Im sorry. Porphyria stood at the window again. She looked out at the cliffs. Hester, she said, you really do love me, dont you?. I must have scared Sean not to do it again and I was too intimidated. What if he told an older boy horny and ready to dump cum in me. That didn't happen until I became 11. I was in the infirmary and just had surgery done on my foot. A black boy came over and pulled down my pajamas. He washed my but several times with warm water making me like it. The villa where all the priests were on duty were there and I didn't realize how much it hurt when his uncut baseball bat for a cock was pushed through my poop chute. Ohhh daddy "it hurt like a son of a bitch." Pull it out it hurts my cries ignored as he continued invading me. I didn't get fully busted hole when he got caught by a priest. I faked like I was just waken up. I was scared I would need someone to sew my but back together. It made me so chicken to take a dick inside me until 19.I came out (not fully because if someone told my parents that would be much more scary. I was on my own and I had 2 big black men take me home. I cried.
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