I went through a rather debilitating depression following my “failure” and my “solution” was to drown my sorrows in alcohol. In spite of it all, somehow Nancy saw something in me that nobody else saw. A real human being that was hurting and didn’t know how to handle it. She showed me love and helped me out of my downhill alcoholic spiral. Nancy did more for me than anyone else in my life ever had. I vowed to myself that I would do anything I could for her. Since our marriage, I always made it a point to be a good provider. To keep Nancy comfortable in any way I could. Alas, all too often that has meant providing her with material things. I wanted so much to help her right now, but I felt so powerless. That feeling was eating me alive from the inside out.Heading towards the job, all sorts of thoughts started racing through my head. There was a bar on the corner of the block where I worked. I thought about having a drink again. It had been nearly twenty years since I had a. ’ ‘What wasn’t supposed to be like this? Tom, look at me. What has happened? How come you are talking like this?’ I was beginning to panic. ‘If I told you, you would hate me. If I didn’t, you would hate me. Things weren’t supposed to happen this way…’ He spoke softly, almost inaudible. His eyes unfocused, staring through me. ‘Tom talk to me, tell me what’s going on.’ ‘If I tell you, promise not to hate me.’ I looked at him, watching his eyes, seeing the pain in them. ‘I can’t promise anything I’m afraid, let’s just hope it’s not that bad.’ I giggled slightly, hoping to lighten the tone. He looked directly into my eyes. I could see the base of each eye covered with a silky form of liquid. He moved his hand to my face, touching it lightly, before moving it back into his lap, his eyes staring down before talking again, ‘I only wanted to see my brother grow up.’ The words hit me like a ton of bricks. ‘What do you mean? What do you mean your … your brother?’ I stood up quickly, pulling my.
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