I loved you, in my way. But I saw our marriage as my marriage. I saw how I could get everything I had always wanted in life. I didn't stop to think what you would get out of it."A lot of the things we decided to do were things you agreed to do because I wanted them. Maybe I should fault you for not standing up to me more. But, it's hard to say you did the wrong thing by trying to make me happy. I guess if you had realized my demands might never stop, you would have said 'no' more often."I suppose it doesn't matter how much you think you love someone or how long you've been together. It's built out of a lot of things, but if you pound it enough, it just can't be sustained. Like you. If you still loved me deeply after all the shit I piled on you, I'd probably have no respect for you. Even if I showed complete contrition, you'd, I don't know, either have to feel you deserved to be treated badly or were completely unlovable except by me, or for some other pathological reason needed to be. "More junk," I acknowledged. "I'm not even sure what I have. Trade goods if nothing else. I sent up a complete library—the branch closed its doors and I was allowed to send all of the books and videos up here." Where were you all of my life?" Rhetorical, Tess?" I asked. "Fighting the Cold War, cleaning up afterward, now I'm here. You wanted to see me?" Leave that stuff here," Tess directed. "Come with me." I've only got a few minutes." You don't have to be anywhere for nine hours," Tess countered. "I've got something to show you."Tess was dressed in gray, covered except for face and hands in cloth. Her dress almost touched the floor when she walked and her hair was covered by a wimple. If she wore black, Tess would have been properly dressed in most of the Middle East—a few would have mandated that Tess wear gloves and veiled her face, too. Not only was she in charge of the orphanage but Tess was the madam of the fleet brothel. Her clothing served to disguise any womanly curves. It.
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