I would love to have a girl who looks that hot; you look good enough to eat." I'm sure he didn't mean it in a sexual way but still; he was too much of an inspiration. I was inspired by the phone call that still played in my head. I was inspired by the handsome strong body Dan had grown in to. I was inspired by thoughts of him doing to me what he said he would do to Karen. I had fought the thoughts for weeks and months: rationalizing why I had them, telling myself about their fantasticality and immorality. I dismissed them time and again only to have them return…unbidden…urgent…searing my insides. I sent them away with anger, frustration, and finally with masturbating fingers. They returned to mock me when I looked at his face or when he hugged me hello.I tried to talk to Beth but the words wouldn't come out. How does a woman say to her sister, "I want to sleep with my son?" I started becoming someone I didn't like; I listened in on his conversations. I did something that still. Nolatex, no leather, no nylon, just plain ol' cotton and sneakers to boot!I considered just running from there. Trying to go to ground and hideas a new woman. Set up a new identity and hope the goons from themansion couldn't find me. No, that would never work and I didn't wantto spend the rest of my life as a woman nor did I want to always belooking over my shoulder all the time or jumping at shadows. No, I hadto go through with this. I had to get the word out and I had to gopublic.The meeting with the lawyer was not easy. I don't think he reallybelieved me until I took him over to the hotel and showed him wonderboy.Stevie had begun coming 'round by that point but was still pretty out ofit. That actually made it somewhat easier for me to pump him foranswers to the attorney's questions. Things progressed from there.First off he did some checking with his buddies in the police departmentto see if there was any word about the mansion. I'd certainly called inenough heat on it. .
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