You didn't put any money in the poor box!'The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'Lemon SqueezeThere once was a religious young woman who went toConfession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The priest thought long and hard and then said,'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.' The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'Catholic DogMuldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked,'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services. Walking slowly through the meadow, they held hands and talked as they looked up at the stars. It was much more pleasant than the beginning of their last nighttime rendezvous, she felt safe and very happy as they walked and talked. The stars twinkled benignly overhead as they made their way to what she now thought of as ‘their’ clearing, the nighttime sky reflected prettily in the pool. Standing under the stars, he held her in his arms and they mutely watched the nighttime sky, his hands caressing her arms and sides. Occasionally she would raise her lips to his for a kiss, and their tongues would slide passionately into each other’s mouths before they’d separate and look back up to the stars. Finally Gwendolyn gathered her courage, ‘Al… I’ve been thinking…’ He turned his head down towards hers, smiling, ‘Yes Gwen… my dearest Lady?’ Smiling she continued, ‘I’ve been thinking about my Lady’s chastity… and…’ ‘And?’ his eyebrows were raised in surprise and delight. ‘And…’ her voice was.
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